What are you doing lady!

December 9, 2013 – Paraguay

Also, don`t know if we can skype. I`ve asked around and everyone says phone is better. You get more time, the call doesn`t drop and you can actually hear what they`re saying. I`m thinking phone call might be the way to go. Bummer! But I`m still super excited! The internet here isn`t great and we had enough troubles chatting when I lived in Provo.

Heyah! This week has been an absolute roller coaster! Crazy redic!

Started out pretty rocky. On Monday night an investigator gave us carrot and orange juice. Would be pretty tasty and all that, except I`m pretty sure they used river water to make it. I got super sick! Haha it was the pits. Totes wanted to ralph but I couldn`t. I got turned into a newt! But then I got better. Yeah the water here isn`t great. I use my filter and everything but still find bugs and floaty things. hahaha Gotta love Paraguay.

Then we met Hna. G. She is absolutely the best. She`s a less active, and a member of ten years. She activates, then gets everyone and their dog who she knows to be baptized, and then she forgets to come to church. She loves the work! And we`re going to make sure she stays active this time!

She`s bleach BLEACH blonde with super short hair because her hair doesn`t grow very much, so she has a clip in in the back with a pony tail. She has braces and either lime green or blue eye liner. She talks so fast and with a mix in of Guarani. Hna. Trillo has a hard time understanding her as well!

We met her on Thursday after searching for 2 weeks for her house. We walk in and she has this huge patio and two houses on a lot. First thing we see is this giant niche, chapel thing for her statues of la virgin Maria. Then we go into her house and there`s this HUGE statue of Maria, and about every saint in the Catholic religion, statues, pictures, etc. etc. And we`re like, what? I thought she was a member! hahaha

So we have a nice little lesson with her and her family and at the end she says, Hey I want you to meet my daughter in law. She`s not a member and needs to get baptized. Great! So we get in her car and she drives like a MANIAC! On a normal neighborhood road she passed a semi going like what, 100? haha So we arrived to the house of her daughter in law in about 2 seconds and then she peeled off, I don`t know where. And Hna Trillo and I are just like, what just happened?

So we talk to the Bishop about her and he said her job is medic. I was thinking, oh that`s nice. And he`s like, no, the type of medic who prays to saints to bless her herbal remedies and bless her patients with cures. Oooooohhhh.

She didn`t come to church on Sunday so we went to go visit her because she was SO EXCITED to go to church.

Turns out, her grandma called at like three in the morning and was like, pick me up, I`m coming to live with you, so she couldn’t come to church because she had to go pick up her grandma. Then she was like, grandma, you should get baptized. And the grandma was like, yeah! But am I too old? And we were like no way! 🙂

And then Hna. G was like hey are yàll hungry? And of course we`re hungry! We`re missionaries! So she sends her son off to go get food. He comes back about two minutes later with a grocery bag from the corner store which he bought on SUNDAY. And then we ate cake of sin 😦 haha Hna. Trillo and I were dying.

So then I felt like we should just bite the bullet and teach her about imagenes [idols] I don`t remember what it is in English. Statues and stuff. So we taught it all really clearly. And she was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I believe all of that. I only worship God. I was waiting for her to realize that she needs to throw all of them out. Nope. So then I was like, Hna. it`s gotta go. All of it. (except a lot nicer.) and she looked at her little chapel thing in front of her house and was like, oh that`s my daughters. So then she picked up her phone and called her and was like you gotta get rid of your statues in my house and the missionaries are going to teach you and baptize you. And Hna. Trillo and I are like what is happening? And then Hna. G throws the phone at me and is like set up a date with her and tell her to get rid of her stuff! Hahaha

And then her son, who is really purete [cool], was like, they`re inside the house too mom. And Hna. G was like, oh yeah. I know, I`ll give them to my daughter in law (our investigator) who likes that kind of stuff.

No!! What are you doing lady!

And that`s Hna. G. I can`t wait to go visit her again. 🙂

Then last night the most best funniest thing happened.

There`s this cuckoo crazy lady that lives a couple blocks from our house. We were with the Elders giving them our numbers and information for the week in front of our door and the crazy lady walked up. When she talks to you she stands about 2 inches away. She started talking to us and we tried very politely to talk to her. Then she started singing. And as she was singing songs she gave us all a mint from her pocket. So we`re all holding our mints and she`s poking our badges. And she`s like, “Feel my dress, feel how sweaty it is. Who are you? Hna. Anderson. No, I`M Hna. Anderson. cackle cackle cackle.” We`re all DYING. Then Elder R chucks his mint because obviously we`re not going to eat the mint from her sweaty dress pocket. He meant to throw it out into the street, but he missed and it hit a wall and bounced back to where we were standing. So he scrabbled to kick it out so that she doesn`t see that he threw her mint away! Then she asks what was that? and Elder R uhh… uhhh… Then Elder W yells it was a bug! A BUG! And Hna. Trillo and I are trying sooooo hard not to laugh and so we have these little coughing fits. And it just so happened that the crazy lady had coughing remedy (some sort of weed) in her hand so she starts whacking Hna. Trillo with it to cure her of her cough. Absolutely the funniest thing that has ever happened to me on my mission.

Also, our newest investigator is a competitive harpist and one of the best in Paraguay! How cool is that? He doesn`t like the missionaries but totally opened up when I told him that I was a harpist. He let me play a little and then played a mini concert for us. He is the coolest! The dad of the bishop and maybe this time around he will investigate the church. He`s super cool and is going to give me some of his CD`s! Purete!


Do the Paraguayans get excited for Christmas like we do?
Decorations, everything Americans do. But not quite the hype that Christmas is for us. It`s less of a deal. New Year’s is the big thing here.

Since it’s summer, are the kids out of school? What is their school year?
Kids just got out of school last week and they start again in February I believe.

Have you received the two packages we sent?
Yes! I got them this week and it was so great! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!! Made my day (and my Christmas :))

I love my mission! Every day is an adventure!

Love you all so much!

Hna Anderson

Hna Anderson displaying her Christmas decorations we sent:  pipe cleaner tree from Kari Anne Barton, vinyl clings on the fridge, stockings for her and her comp, and a gift.

Hna Anderson displaying her Christmas decorations we sent: pipe cleaner tree from Kari Anne Barton, vinyl clings on the fridge, stockings for her and her comp, and a gift.


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